Does It Ever Get Any Easier?

I know it has been forever since I have posted but I guess time is a hot commodity now that I am a working mama.  Since it is autism awareness month, and I have had the week off, I thought I would get my write on:)

Yesterday Noah participated in a research program at Notre Dame for children with autism.  When I asked him if he was interested, he immediately said no.  When I told him that they would pay him $45, he said he would reconsider.  We both had many questionnaires to fill out.  After that, they let me watch and listen to Noah and the researcher interact.  He was unaware that I was watching, although I did tell him later.

When Noah talks to us, he uses eye contact, he asks questions, and the conversation is absolutely as you would expect it to be.  When he was with this adult that he didn't know, it was heartbreaking to watch.  He couldn't lift his head up to even glance in her direction.  It was almost as if it was painful to him to look her way.  They only time he would say anything is if he was asked a direct question and even then he would speak at such a low tone you could barely understand him. She was trying to engage him in back and forth conversation to no avail.  She would say something like, "Something really funny happened to me last night."  She would then pause to see if he would ask.  But he never did. 

The whole experience was eye opening and discouraging for me.  I don't get to see him interact with people very often so it was painful to watch.  She asked him about his friends and he said that he didn't have any.  I had to hold back the tears for that one because there was another researcher watching with me.  Can you imagine if your 13 year old child really believed he didn't have any friends?  She kept asking questions and got him to name a couple people at school that he thought of as his friends.  Then she asked him if he wanted to get married when he got older.  He shook his head with a resounding yes. She asked him why and he said so that he could have a family.  As you might have guessed, I lost it at that point. 

I definitely do not know what the future holds for my son.  Sometimes I try not to think about it.  But one thing I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I serve a big God.  God has plans for Noah.  And Noah might surprise us all.  I decided a couple weeks back to commit to praying that he would get married and have a family.  I know it's a little early but it's helps me to cope.  Please join me in praying for Noah!