He is Listening

Sorry it has been a while since my last post but I'd have to say we are in one of those valleys that the Bible talks about.  The good thing is that my Father God is right here with us and He will guide us through this situation.  I didn't really understand how it was possible to give thanks during trials but now I am beginning to get it.  I have never had to depend on God more in my life and I can sure be thankful that He is here, He provides, and He is my very best friend. 

On to Noah:)  I had been concerned about the way he had been answering me when I asked him a question or told him to do something.  His tone was a little on the rude side and I didn't think that was the proper way he should speak to his mother.  I talked to Alan about it and he said he would take care of it.  During our family devotion time last night, Alan addressed Noah about the way he had been talking to me.  Noah did not take responsibility for his actions and refused to admit he did anything wrong.  In fact, he blamed me.  Alan explained what we expected from him and what God expects from him.  I assummed it didn't have any effect on him since he didn't believe he did anything wrong. 

Now this morning, I had a very polite young man.  He didn't say anything to me about what had happened the previous day, but his attutude and tone had changed.  They say that autisic children can't empathise with other peoples feelings.  I can't speak for everyone, but that isn't necessarily true for Noah.  He knows when he hurts my feelings and He knows when I am not happy with his behavior.  He tries really hard to please me.  Now if autism causes someone to just be concerned with himself, Noah doesn't always fit the bill.  I think maybe that might be the Spirit of God slipping through the disability that plagues him.

As I watched Noah the other night at church, I once again began to feel sorry for myself.  They have care groups that consist of 10-12 boys that meet together.  Noah's care group was in the commons and all of the boys were being boys, goofing off and what not.  But not Noah.  He stood on the outskirts of the group but didn't engage.  You could tell he wanted to be a part of it but he could not or would not.  Sometimes I wish he didn't have autism.  But I will count my blessing that he is healthy, there are 2 people in our church family that are waiting for organ transplants. 

I don't think that God expects my husband and I to raise Noah by ourselves.  He expects us to lean on Him.  And lean on Him is what we are going to do.